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Dreams

 My dreams were crazy again last night.  I was revisiting a dream from last month that involved rolling around and playing in a green field. Adult playing. The day turned to night and then we watched the sun rise as we lied in our field together and laughed. That dream was so real that I could smell the flowers when I woke up! I didn’t dream for a long time and recently it’s like I’ve finally woken up again. I was there again and so happy and warm and the dog barked and woke me up.  I managed to go back to sleep and I was in another dream. I was in a loft style bedroom with gorgeous exposed wood beams in the ceiling. It was my bedroom and the ceiling was caved in because the roof outside had about 15 feet of snow on it. My bedroom was destroyed. My bed had been crushed and there was broken beams of wood everywhere. It was August and it was really hot and all of the windows were open and I was really confused. So I went outside and went across this parking lot to talk to the rental mana

Crushed

 I’m at a point where I’m criticized for things, no matter what. I’m quietly quitting and starting life over. MY life. MY dreams. MY desires. Recently I was given the opportunity of a lifetime to go study massage in Hawaii for a few days! Home is taken care of and my spouse encouraged me to go, even. But right after I took the plunge and booked my flight I’ve been given the silent treatment. I feel bad for leaving now. But I don’t feel bad enough to cancel my trip. I NEED this! I work full time supporting my family and I haven’t had any time to myself or away in over 5 years. My spouse has been to concerts and went away for a week recently. They say it doesn’t count because it was a trip to see family and such, but I think staying at resorts and going to casinos counts as a proper getaway. Especially when they haven’t worked a job in 15 years. My work is like my church. It is my quiet in the storm. I give of myself to help others. My work is my non crazy place and lately I get a pit in